In a fast paced world of smart phones, iPads and social media, children and teens become used to having anything they desire at their finger tips. This has created a culture of demand and high expectations that their wants will be met. Many South Asian parents struggle with how to teach their children humility and thankfulness in the midst of a world that is demanding instant gratification.
Research has shown that expressing gratitude on a regular basis can significantly improve your physical and mental health. Further studies are showing that when teens become in the habit of expressing gratitude, they are less likely to be socially isolated, stressed or depressed, three very common experiences for adolescents.
For tips on how to help your child be more grateful for the things he/she has, read on!
1. Limit complaints and increase compliments. Find the positive in your child and express that on a daily basis. By focusing on the positive qualities of a child and complaining less about what they do, say or wear, your child or teen will automatically catch on and become a more positive themselves. Their self-esteem will increase and the overall sentiment in the home will be a more optimistic one. A positive attitude is a necessary step to learning how to be gracious.
2. Find the good in the situation. As the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining and finding that in the midst of disappointment or frustration can be difficult. Teach your child how to identify one positive aspect out of every difficult situation he finds himself in. This helps to elevate mood and regulate negative sentiments such as anger, anxiety or sadness. This will teach them that there is a balance to negativity in the world and it will help reduce complaints.
3. Give them responsibilities. Nothing is a bigger shock into reality than realizing how much work goes into doing something you take for granted. Have your child or teen do housework or help you complete an everyday task, such as cooking a meal or washing the car. It will help them to realize that the final product of anything is only so after hard work is put into it. Give the child responsibilities that they are excited. Teens and children achieve a great sense of pride from completing a task on their own and appreciate the end result far more than if it was just handed to them.
4. Allow time for privileges. Just as the child should have responsibilities around the house, they should also learn that after hard work can come reward. Set aside time for them to play their favorite game, go to the movies or spend time with friends. They will appreciate this downtime even more when they know they have worked hard to earn these results.
5. Ask for gratitude. Giving thanks does not, and should not, be limited to Thanksgiving time. Ask your child or teen to express his gratitude every day. Sometimes having everyone in the family provide a short list during dinner or before you go to sleep can establish a very positive attitude in the home. While this might feel awkward in the beginning, as it becomes habit, the whole family’s perspective on their lives will change.
6. Be a gratitude role model. It is impossible for a child or teen to do the opposite of how they watch you behave. Implement all of these changes into your daily life, make gratitude a habit for yourself and behave in a way you wish to see your child act. As aloof as teenagers may seem, they are still looking to their parents for guidance on how to act.
How did your parents teach you to be grateful for what you have?